The Kingdom of Q

A Suessian take on some American crazy.

The Kingdom of Q

Deep in the mystical mountains of blue

Sat a sad Kingdom: The Kingdom of Q.

The Non-Q-y Kingdom that lived down below

Had no way of knowing what Qs would soon show.

Q dreamers dreams were more nightmares than most,

With visions of vipers and vanishing votes.

They sat in their silos and stared at their screens,

Those Q crooners weaving up whopper-like schemes.

They chugged and they chortled and puffed out their chests,

And dreamed of cold, kid-killing, pizza-pie pests.

They stammered and steamed and stewed up their stews,

And babbled of biblical, liberal broods.

Then one dung-like day something snapped and went Boom,

And down from the mountains the Q cronies zoomed.

They brought their chug chortles, their puffy chests too,

And puffeled out panicky plots that weren’t true.

The Q critters crept into vacuous heads,

Told crazy Q stories of Q crazy dread.

And soon the Q newsies repeated the lies

On Q stations mornings and noons and most nights.

The Q clowny circus just grew and just grew,

With Q cuckoos challenging everything true.

Up became down and wrong became right.

And color was collared to make way for white.

Some Non-Q-y folks even fell for the ruse,

Fell for the steamy, stewed, stammering Qs.

The Q-crazed confusion had spread far and wide,

And Q-homers hollered, “Hooray for our side!”

But what could the Non-Q-y kids choose to do?

How could they quell the screwy Q crews?

Though they kept all their morals and kept all their heads,

They soon knew they must choose to challenge Q threats.

The two sides collided, Non-Q against Q.

It’s always what happens when two Kingdoms stew,

The Q-y chug chortles grabbed Q-clubby bats,

And Non-Q-y foo fighters foo fought right back.

So who were the victors and who had to lose?

Whose newsies stood to deliver the news?

According to sources, it’s too soon to say.

But even when Qs lose, they don’t go away.


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