Life in the Time of Corona, Election Edition

So, let’s take stock of the amazing, bizarre and surreal events occurring in Wonderland for a second:

  • Covid infections setting records every day. Check (although we apparently are still rounding the corner of an infinite circle that actually has no corners, just continuous, unending rounding).
  • Orange Baby loses his second attempt to ruin Wonderland by about 5 million votes. Check.
  • While OB is still trying to build a wall around Mexico, he loses a Blue Wall in the upper Midwest (oh, but he was robbed). Check.
  • OB also refuses to lose Georgia and Arizona (even though he did). Check.
  • But still, millions of people celebrate. Check.
  • While OB merrily cheered the accurate results of states he won, he claims fraud in the ones he lost. Check.
  • His cronies all play along because, well, they sort of have to, because, well, they don’t know what else to do, and because, well, they’d really like to have a different result. Check.
  • America’s Mayor ( looking at you Rudy) decides the most effective way to demonstrate that significant fraud has undermined the democratic institutions of Wonderland is to hold a press conference in the parking lot of a company known for cutting grass, spreading mulch, raking leaves and plowing snow. Check.
  • Next door to a store selling vibrators, sex toys, and real, life-like dolls you can “sleep” with. Check.
  • And across the street from a crematorium that probably has never mistakenly returned the ashes of the wrong person to a grieving family, but how do we know? And aren’t we within our rights to begin wondering about this on social media until they can prove otherwise?Check.
  • While eighteen hundred lawyers collect sticky notes and third person accounts of nefarious vote counting activities that pretty much amount to complaints about social distancing or the way somebody looked at them. And those lawyers actually put pen to legal paper, submit their complaints and insist a federal judge rule in their favor. Check.
  • Federal judges in every state OB lost IM each other with various emojis 🤣🤪😡🤬 and funny GIFs. Check.
  • Oh, and they dismiss the cases. All of them. Check.
  • While the Secretary of State, with not an iota of irony, proudly states he is preparing a smooth transition to OB’s second chance to ruin Wonderland.
  • While OB cronies prepare plans to muck up enough confusion that the selection of Electors in some of those non-OB states might just vote differently than expected. Check.
  • While three of the top four civilian leaders in the Pentagon have been replaced by OB cronies (umm, uh oh). Check.
  • While some of the 77 million people who chose Uncle Joe B are beginning to wonder that maybe OB actually WILL win this election because, well there might not be enough of the right people in the right places to stop him. Check?
  • And of course, this could never happen here, but what else happened in the last four years that couldn’t have happened here, but did? Check?
  • And, so what if it did? Check?
  • Check? Mate?
  • Arggghhhh!!!!!!

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