Life in the Time of Corona #9

April 9, 2020, Day 31, as the Smashing Pumpkins might say, still living like a “rat in a cage.”

Street Etiquette: Walking outdoors is quickly becoming the best (only?) break we can get from the mind-numbing routine of daily life in the Time of Corona. Even a semi-decent (which is also a semi-crappy) day will bring many of us prairie dogs out of our holes. Of particular interest is how we have instinctively settled into the habit of crossing the street to avoid anyone approaching from the opposite direction. In the old days (i. e. January), only a Larry David acolyte would have been so bold as to publicly demonstrate such obvious disdain for another human being. Now? It’s accepted (even expected) practice. And, if you want, you can even give a nod, a hello, or even a how you doin’ without any ramifications at all. Come to think of it, Larry David must love this!

All Hands on Deck, Part 2: With the arrival of 8 and 16 foot deck boards, the hoped-to-avoid side deck project is appearing unavoidable. The fact that I now actually have to go outside and do it is bad enough, but getting woken up at 6am by a Home Depot delivery guy made it even worse. Then, added to that was the guy deciding that the shortest distance to my side driveway was by running over Shirley’s lawn with his deep-track-tired front loader. The same lawn she just had people come and rake. And seed. And mulch. Arghhh!!! But my deck will look devine.

All a board!

Thirty-Six Degrees of Separation: Ah, that Bridget. Last time we saw her, she left five loads of dirty laundry on our kitchen floor. If it was up to her, we would have completed the Wash and Fold duties that “good” parents are supposed to do. But, being miscreants and roust-abouts, we met her halfway, literally and, um, literally. We washed but did not fold and met her in Brockton (yep, halfway between Southie and Onset). (As a side note, did you know Best Buy was open? Who knew it was an essential service? I’m learning so many new things!). It would be easy to say Bridget got the better part of the deal, but she covered any deficit by bringing two gifts with her. The first being the lovely Sadie, who was delighted to see me, but clearly confused why everyone was staying in their cars. She kept jumping on Bridget’s bladder and mewling a low, somber refrain (which B said is her way of talking). The second, and most critical, was a 36 pack of Mega-rolls!!!!! The search has officially ended. Barb is outside right now throwing the streaming rolls high in the air and whooping like a little kid (not really).

“Family” in the Time of Corona

Thought Bubbles: If you are old enough, you might remember getting the newspaper delivered to your home and opening it right up to the comic section. Hi and Lois, Blondie, Peanuts and Li’l Abner (which actually wasn’t one of my favorites). Saying and thinking stupid stuff. But you always knew when they were saying something and when they were thinking something because one was a solid balloon and the other was a cloud bubble. Very basic cartoon literacy. Apparently Orange Baby has not yet reconciled the difference between the two as some of his thought bubbles end up in solid balloon formats. Case in point, his tweet yesterday that state-wide mail-in voting, “for whatever reason, doesn’t work out well for Republicans.” Which followed last weeks Fox and Friends interview where he actually said mail-in voting, “if you agreed to it, you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again.” Seriously, you actually said that? So think about that for a minute, let it settle in. Hmmm… And who can forget the John McCain, Gold Star family and Mexican rapist bubble disasters? For all the Chiefs of Staff, Inspector Generals, and Press Secretaries he’s gotten rid of, why can’t he fire the creator of this daily cartoon show (oh yeah, that would be him)?

Shout-Outs (A New Feature): There are a lot of people who are out there on the front lines, literally risking their lives to take care of us. For what it’s worth, I’d like to thank some of them here each time I write these things. Ryan Miller is an EMT in Wareham (as well as the new husband of the estimable Louise Miller). He and his colleagues are the first responders who literally don’t know what they’re going to see when they come on the scene. That’s difficult enough on an ordinary day, but these are not ordinary times. Good job Ryan 👌👌👌. Stay safe.

Virtual Cheers!

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