Life in the Time of Corona #3

March 26, 4:19 pm: Day 17 of staying in the goddam house.

Mega roll hunt update: There is no update. You can only worry about this so much before you go crazy. Besides, I have it on good authority that Kimberly Clark and all the toilet paper manufacturers have given up making the stuff and are recommending corn husks and maple leaves. If brittle oak leaves will work, we’re set for a long time.

Covid testing: Yesterday Kelsey (the big coconut and ER nurse) was tested for Covid-19. We don’t think she has it but she has been out with a cough and is concerned ( she is pregnant and has lupus). If she gets cleared she’ll probably have to move to another part of the hospital to keep away from Covid patients. Of course, the medication she takes for lupus is the same one Orange Baby has been touting as a potential miracle cure for Covid, so, naturally, it is in short supply.

Speaking of miracle cures: So how about the couple in Arizona who noticed that the drug Orange Baby recommended was in their cupboard? Eureka, they must have said, and they decided to take some of it as a preventative measure. A few problems here: a) Orange Baby was unclear on proper dosage, b) Orange Baby hadn’t clearly confirmed it as a preventative medicine, and c) apparently they use that stuff (along with some other chemicals) to clean fish tanks. The good news is that the digestive tracks of both people are free from the typical scum and algae found in fish tanks. The bad news is the guy died and his wife is in critical condition. When asked if he took any responsibility for this Orange Baby replied, “No, none at all,” which apparently has become the phrase used in a new drinking game by college students who are still on the beaches of Florida in rather large numbers as we speak.

Social Distancing update: As responsible sexagenarians, we have been faithfully following the social distancing guidelines during the current lockdown. This was also utilized during a recent beach excursion with some neighbors where even the bottles of wine observed appropriate protocol ( see below)

Lastly: Barb has resumed working out with Louise, her personal trainer, using Zoom on her iPad in the living room. They spend more time laughing and telling stories than actually doing work, but it does help to break up the monotony.

Lastly, part 2: Just thought I’d mention, that, as of this writing, Orange Baby’s “Chinese Virus” has now infected more people in the US than were infected in China (81,943 vs. 81,285). Will OB take some credit now that he is “winning” this race. “No, none at all.” (Drink!)

Lastly, part 3 (really, I mean it this time): Someone who read my blog was befuddled about Barb and I having drinks in the “sunset room.” What the hell is that!? Well, we actually do have a third floor room accessible via a ladder that gives great views of Onset Bay (see below). That is likely where they will find our bodies when the lockdown is lifted.


3 thoughts on “Life in the Time of Corona #3

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